It's summer. What the hell. It sprang up on me out of the blue, at the worst possible moment. Of course, it is also the best possible moment. However, when summer comes I have this awful complex that takes over me.
I want to do something. I dont want to waste my summer. I want to do something worth while, something to contribute, something to make this summer amazing and feel like I actually did something with myself.
I dont want to do anything. I want to relax, enjoy myself. I dont want to do anything I dont have to, and I dont want to put any effort into anything. Thats what summer is about, right?
Well, what am I supposed to do? With two opposing viewpoints ravaging through my head all summer, its impossible to relax. At the end, my summer feels wasted. Is it because I didnt do anything? Did I do too much?
Another year passes around the bend, and nothings been done. How can I make the most of my life? With my current situation, I just want to relax. But is this an acceptable way to spend my life?
Its true, Im lazy. Im lazy as hell. Theres nothing I can do about it. But what happens when your laziness clashes with your will to do something while you're still young? To not waste your life away?
I dont want to be one of those people who wish they did all those things when they were young, and- worse yet- I dont want to be one of those people who wont do anything because they arent as young as they used to be.
When they say to enjoy being young, and live your life to its fullest during that short time in your life, nobody ever pays attention. They dissmiss it as regret, as something unimportant that the oldtimers always feel, and no mind is paid to it.
Ive paid attention. I want to do what I can, while I can. But how am I to go around doing so? Id also like to relax, so enjoy the moment for what it is. How am I supposed to choose between these two things?
Is this what I want? I constantly ask myself this question. I do what I want at the moment, but later, I feel that regret- that regret that all the elder people constantly talk about. I feel unsatisfied, unfufilled... This feeling wont change, no matter how many summers pass by.
In fact, as each summer comes to a close, it feels worse and worse.

This could possibly be my last free summer, the last summer I wont have to work or have any major responsibilities. If thats the case, how do I spend it? Should I relax now, and kick myself for it later, or should I work my butt off now for a little self-assurance in the future? Would it even be that assuring?

Every summer, the same questions. The same feeling. Im getting on it early this year. Its time to start thinking about the future. And it starts with this summer. Perhaps this could be the most important summer, perhaps not. All I know is, I dont want to feel that way this summer. I need a way to make both sides happy, and enjoy each moment to the fullest extent of my being.
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Anywhoooooo... I'm actually really excited for this summer, despite all that. This should be a really good one. X3 Lemme know if anyone wants to hang out, yeah?? ;D

*BORED TIEM*